I sat up and then heard the shower running and her singing to the radio. She hadn't heard the phone ring. Maybe that was a good thing. I dropped back down on the bed and must have dozed off.A sudden noise next to the bed woke me and I reacted by jumping up and grabbing the person that was leaning over me. I grabbed them in an arm lock around the throat and put them on the floor, flipping myself over and on top, my knee on their chest, left hand on the throat and right hand raised for a strike. Screaming froze my hand. It all became clear. My knee was on Karen's chest, my hand to her throat. I blinked a few times and saw her terrified face on the floor looking up at me with wide, scared eyes. I got off her, stood up and offered her my hand. She tentatively reached for it and I helped her to her feet, apologizing for my actions. She was still scared but now a little angry. She asked me what the hell I was doing, and what was I thinking, trying to keep her voice calm and level. I told. Kissable . . . (stop it, stop it and don’t even think about it!). For some reason I had an almost irresistible urge to just softly rub my thumb along her eyebrow, to lightly touch that faint white line, then slowly move my hand down along the side of her face to her waiting lips. I could almost feel her lips against my fingers as I imagined caressing her upper lip with my thumb. In my imagination I saw her open her mouth, take my thumb inside and start gently sucking on my finger . . . (STOP IT, STOP IT AND DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!) I was sweating a lot more than the day actually called for, and for once I was very happy to have my weird fire department schedule! It was now about 4:30 pm, and I would begin my 24-hour shift at 6 pm. ‘Jessica (puppy dog look) . . . Jessie (big smile), I have to get ready to go to work.’ Disappointment etched her face, ‘Oh, my parents told me . . . you work 24 hours, and then you are off for 48?’ I nodded, ‘Normally, but sometimes people will ask me.
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